Need You Now
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Yes, I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all...


Wow, writer's block sucks. LOL. I heard this song a month ago, and immediately it struck me as Carrie and Big. I even saw scenes from the show as the song was playing. If you've heard the song, then you probably understand. The song is Need You Now, by Lady Antebellum. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SATCSATCSATCSATCSATC

Love Is.

Carrie Bradshaw stared at the computer screen, then hit a button, deleting what was displayed in front of her. Why couldn't she think of anything? She shifted in the chair, then rewrote what she had originally typed.

Outside, thunder rumbled ominously, and she saw a streak of lightning light up the sky. A deep sigh escaped her. Nothing was coming, and it was driving her out of her mind. She glanced at the clock. One in the morning. Shaking her head, she finally shut the laptop down, then stood up, stretching her aching muscles.

The rain pounded loudly against her windows, and though she was tired, she was too restless to lay down and sleep.

But this wasn't a normal restlessness that a glass of wine could settle. It was something that started low in her belly and emanated to every part of her body, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She was losing her self control, and she didn't like it.

Shivering, Carrie rubbed her arms, which were suddenly covered in goosebumps. His memory always had a way of doing that to her.

Her will was faltering as she went into her closet and reached up for a box that resided on the highest shelf. Holding it to her chest, she went back to the bed and sat down heavily. Then she pulled the top of the box off and dumped the contents out onto the bedspread.

Pictures of them, of a happier time in her life, and hundreds of memories flooded her senses. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply as she reached for the pack of cigarettes that resided in the box with the pictures. Then she grabbed the lighter and lit the cigarette.

He had never been good for her, and when it came to him, she wasn't a smart woman.

She reached down and pulled out a particular picture. In it, he was holding her close and smiling as she laughed.

She loved that picture.

With a tender affection, she caressed the glossy photo. They both looked so happy, and very much in love. She loved that smile on his face. Then she frowned. Why, even when he was miles and miles away, did he have this power over her? Did he ever even think about her anymore?

She thought about him, probably more than she wanted.

Without even thinking about it, she reached across the bed, for her phone. Then she started to dial his number.

How did he do this to her?

_Picture perfect memories _

_Scattered all around the floor _

_Reaching for the phone cause _

_I can't fight it anymore _

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind _

_For me it happens all the time_

She never did handle being alone very well. Some might have considered it a character flaw, but it was just the way she was. She liked having a leading man in her life, seeing someone who made her heart jump out of her chest. Someone who made her look forward to a date, instead of sitting home alone and staring at pictures from her past. Even if the pictures were of the love of her life. His pictures even evoked something deep inside of her.

He always did that for her.

She settled back against the pillows, inadvertently knocking several pictures to the carpeted floor as she listened to the phone ring over and over again.

She didn't know what the hell she was doing. She just needed him, and she couldn't think of one reason to stop herself. Screw the pain, and screw the what if's. She didn't care that she had told him she would never call him again. She had lost any semblance of control.

Then he answered the phone, and her racing heart stopped completely.

"It's me." She inhaled deeply. "I need you. Now."

_It's a quarter after one _

_I'm all alone _

_And I need you now _

_Said I wouldn't call _

_But I've lost all control _

_And I need you now _

_And I don't know how I can do without _

_I just need you now_

The silence resonated eerily in the dark apartment. It was just after one in the morning, and he was alone with his demons.

He stared down into the shot glass, then leaned back against the couch. The apartment was completely quiet, and if he strained hard enough, he could hear her laughter. At one point, this place had been a home. Not just four walls and a floor. When she was there, it was a home.

He sighed and grabbed the bottle of whiskey, intent on pouring another shot. But suddenly the shot glass seemed too far away to even bother trying. So he brought the bottle to his lips and took a long swig.

After a long drink, he set the bottle between his legs and looked at the door. God, he wished that she would just walk through it one more time and smile at him, that disarming smile. She had such a beautiful, enticing smile that melted his heart and stirred him toward arousal at the same time. She was incredible, and he had found a way to screw it all up.

He had always been a stubborn, determined man, but when it came to her, all of his defenses shattered. From the day they had met, and every coincidental meeting until he finally got the balls to ask her out, he had been entranced by the mysterious blond woman. He had been completely taken with her, and even after the breakups, reconciliations, fights, and harsh words, he still wanted her.

He wanted her.

Did he ever cross her mind anymore? He scoffed, swiping his hand through his thick hair. Who was he kidding? No one but himself. She was probably involved with someone else. She was probably happy.

But not as happy as she had been when she was with him.

And no matter how many women he brought to his bed, no matter how many woman he wined and dined, none were like her. She was everything he needed, and it had been too late when he had finally figured it out. Wasn't that always the case in his life, though?

_Another shot of whiskey _

_Can't stop looking at the door _

_Wishing you'd come sweeping in _

_The way you did before _

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind _

_For me it happens all the time_

He finally put the bottle back down on the table in front of himself, then leaned back on the couch. He was tired of numbing the pain, of pretending that he didn't miss her more than the next breath he took.

He stood up and carried the bottle and glass into the kitchen, setting the glass in the sink before he put the bottle of whiskey away. Then he wandered back into the living room. The phone sitting on the charger in the corner of the room caught his attention, and he slowly walked over to it.

Would she even be home? Would she be alone?

Reaching down, he picked up the phone and studied it as it rested in his hand. Was she sleeping? Would she hang up on him as soon as he spoke? He finally began dialing her number.

She finally answered, and he let out an unsteady breath.

"I need to see you now. Tonight."

_It's a quarter after one _

_I'm a little drunk _

_And I need you now _

_Said I wouldn't call _

_But I've lost all control _

_And I need you now _

_And I don't know how I can do without _

_I just need you now_

It was almost two in the morning, and Carrie was pacing the carpeted floor of her apartment. The phone was clutched tightly in her hand, and she contemplated calling him again. Maybe he was having second thoughts, or maybe he just didn't want to see her again.

Then there was a knock on the door, and she relaxed. Tossing the phone onto the couch, she hurried to the door. Then she inhaled deeply and smoothed her hand over the front of her slip before she opened the door. "Hey..."

He smiled down at her. "Hey, kid."

That familiar nickname widened her smile, and she squeaked softly when he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against him.

He gently pushed her further into the apartment, then kicked the door shut and held her tighter. She felt right in his arms, like a part of him that had been missing for years.

Her hands moved over his back as she leaned up and brought her lips crashing against his. God, she had missed him.

He groaned softly and buried his fingers in her thick hair, then tore his mouth from hers and started kissing the soft skin of her neck. She had used that perfume that he bought her, and he loved the combined fragrance of the perfume... and her.

As he kissed her neck, she grabbed his shirt and yanked it up, over his head. It fell to the floor, and she grabbed the waistband of his pants. None of the men she had ever been with could compare to him. Maybe that was why she had never been able to get over him, because she did compare every new man in her life to Big. She couldn't help it. He had touched her so profoundly, and even though she knew it probably wouldn't last, she couldn't stop herself.

She needed him.

He groaned softly and found the bottom of her slip with his hands. Then he carefully slid his hands under it, over her bare skin. How did she do this to him every damn time?

They stumbled into her bedroom and landed awkwardly on the bed. As he pulled the slip off of her, she wondered if tomorrow would hurt as bad as it had in the past.

But if given the choice, she would rather hurt than feel nothing at all, like she had for months.

It was better than nothing.

_Yes, I'd rather hurt _

_Than feel nothing at all_

A few weeks later, Carrie stared up at the ceiling of her apartment, her phone in her hand. It had been weeks since she had last seen Big, and now the urge to see him again was nearly overwhelming. Even a night out with the girls had done little to take her mind off of their last encounter. The other three women had been convinced that something was wrong, and eventually she had excused herself, claiming that she had a headache.

But what she had couldn't be cured with a glass of water and two aspirin.

It could only be fixed by seeing him again.

She quietly changed from her dress into something more enticing. Then she slowly dialed his number and waited impatiently for him to answer.

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone _

_And I need you now_

Big was sitting at a bar and staring into his nearly empty shot glass. How had he managed to screw this up again? He had her in his arms, and instead of telling her what she meant to him, he had left. Stupid.

He gave the bartender another bill, then finished off the shot before he slid off of the stool.

In his pocket, his cell phone began to chirp, and he growled softly as he headed out into the night air. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone.

"Hello?"

_And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk _

_And I need you now_

He showed up at her place less than fifteen minutes later, and when he let himself into her apartment, Carrie watched him.

"Are you going to stay this time?" she wondered.

That caught him off guard, and he blinked at her. "What?"

She stood up and approached him, her mouth set in a line. "Last time, you left. And..." She twisted her fingers nervously. "I don't want you to leave like that again."

He shifted uneasily. "Carrie..."

Nodding, she motioned to the door. "Then go, because I can't get over you if you're right here." But how could she get over him if he never left her heart?

He stepped forward, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Carrie, I want you."

That surprised her. "What?"

"I want to stay." He drew her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "I was stupid, kid. But I'm done being stupid."

She felt tears welling up in her eyes, but she couldn't find a word.

Reaching down, he gently tipped her head back and searched the depths of her beautiful eyes. "This is it, Carrie. I want you." He kissed her softly, then touched his forehead to his. "You're the one."

_And I don't know how I can do without _

_I just need you now_

A tear spilled down her cheek as she reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair. Then she stood up on her toes and kissed him deeply, winding her free arm around his neck.

He held her against his chest as he returned the kiss. He loved this woman in his arms more than anything, and it had only taken fifteen tries to get it right. He inwardly laughed at his own bad joke as he pulled her into her bedroom.

They tumbled onto the bed, and Carrie couldn't resist kissing his nose as he laid her against the pillows. "If you're not here tomorrow morning," she threatened between kisses. "I'll track you down and kick your ass."

He chuckled warmly and smoothed her hair out of his face. "I'll be here, kid. Promise."

"You better."

He pulled away and kissed her stomach softly, then laid his head over her heart, the heart that he had broken so many times. But never again. He draped an arm over her waist and snuggled into her, playfully caressing her side.

She sighed softly and gently toyed with his hair. "I love you," she whispered.

He smirked. "I love you, too, kid," he replied without thinking about it.

Her smile widened as he pulled her closer and stroked the inside of her thigh. A soft moan from her made him grin proudly.

No, he couldn't leave her again.

_I just need you now _

_Oh, baby, I need you now_

The End!

A/N: Yes, yes, I know that that was an incredibly fluffy ending, and that they actually got together and he told her she was the one in An American Girl In Paris, Part Deux. But this was what the muse wanted, and I can't argue with it. LOL. Thanks for reading, and please remember to review while I try to get rid of this writer's block completely!


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